Ladies and Gents, were you as disappointed in the Food Network Awards as I was? For having all those big personalities, it was pretty darn dull, don't you think? This picture of Paula pretty much says it all. I had it on in the background, otherwise I don't know if I could have sat through the whole thing. Although, I must say, as much as I was dulled-to-death by it, I was not nearly as irritated as our pal Anthony Bourdain.

The production itself--above and beyond the witless, ill-considered, just-plain stupid "concept" of an Awards show where most of the "awards" went to inanimate objects (accepting the award for Best Comfort Food is...Macaroni and Cheese!!), appliances or cities (Portland's mayor wisely did not bother to show),--the production values--were lower than whale shit. The food styling during the "Best New Appliance" looked like some kind of 1960's themed monkey effluence, dying, soggy, butt-ugly.

And yes, I know, Bourdain's "I totally hate on Food TV" schtick is a little off-putting and old-hat to some, however I still love every scathing word of it.

Did you watch it? What did you think? Tell me about it in the comments! Oh and did anyone else notice that they used the same music that Top Model uses??

And finally, if you want to know who won the metal cake statuettes (even though most of the recipients are inanimate objects), or see more red carpet images read more

Here are the winners, visit Food Network for a full list of nominees

  • "Hot" Chocolate - Andrew Shotts - Garrison Confections
  • Delicious Destination - Portland, Oregon
  • Play With Your Food - Jell-O Artist Liz Hickok
  • Icy Innovations - Moobella Ice Cream
  • Tasty Technology - PoliScience Anti-Griddle
  • Delectable Delivery of the Year - Zingerman's Z-Club
  • Super Market - Wegmans
  • Better Burger - Burgerville
  • Edible Entrepreneur of the Year - Alicia Polak for Khaya Cookie Company
  • Viewer's Choice: Fave Food Combo - Burger & Fries
  • Viewer's Choice: Fave Classic Read - Green Eggs & Ham
  • Viewer's Choice: Best Ball Park Eats - Citizens Bank Park (Philadelphia)
  • Viewer's Choice: Kitchen Appliance You Can't Live Without - Microwave
  • Viewer's Choice: Fave Cool & Classic Cocktail - actually, I missed this one... anyone know? My guess is going to be be Margarita (choices were margarita, mojito, daiquiri & martini)
  • Share our Strength Humanitarian of the Year - Floyd Cardoz of Tabla (I must say this was the one interesting, if not totally different, part of the show. Floyd seemed genuinely touched)
  • Food Network Hall of Fame - Julia Child
  • Culinary Dream Come True - Matthew Finkel (and I thought it was also interesting how they made him think it was a competition, even though he was the only candidate. I also loved how Alton started to let his true feeling for the giant metal cake statuette slip through)

And that folks, was honestly a waste of my time... I wonder what they'll do differently next year, because you know there's going to be a next year...

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