For the all-star season of Top Chef, we have a special person recapping the show: previous Top Chef participant Stefan Richter! Here are his thoughts on last night's episode.
Blogging Top Chef All-Stars, can you believe it? Me, the Euro who can't spell for sh*t. Anyway, here it goes! The last few episodes were pretty dull and to see my paisano Fabio getting nailed to the board, like I nailed the eel in my season . . . SNAP! Animal inside out — doesn't most Italian food look like that anyways, besides pizza? That comment will not get me any Italian friends, but who cares?
For more of Stefan's take on Top Chef, keep on reading.
To my little lesbian friend Jamie: of course I still cheer for her because she is a great chef. She can cook a mean scallop and I like her personality. [Richard] Blais, leave her alone. Carla is Carla — steady and chill, relaxed and maybe a little too corky for my taste with all the spiritual stuff, but if it floats her boat. Good luck, Carla.
I know most of the people on All-Stars; they are all pretty cool chefs. I have met most of them in person, on some bullsh*t cooking demo or some event somewhere in Arkansas or Idaho. Angelo, I call him Mr. Sentimental. And all of you, enough kissing Tom's ass. What has happened to you people? He is a chef, so am I, so are you, and so are thousands of others in America and all over the world.
Quickfire: Eight minutes is easy. Ask my ex — I have done a great dish in eight minutes in my frigging house. Come on, you people cook for a living. That is what you do and you have been there before. Bottom: Jamie, Angelo, and Dale — all three weak dishes (sorry, honey). Dale is a great sport and he has grown up a lot. He's making me laugh a lot on this season. And Jamie, cook a scallop, come on you know better and that was expected from you. And Angelo, crudo again? How many f—ing crudo dishes have you made with foam? Are you dating Marcel? Top: Marcel, Mike Isabella, Richard. Mike won. Wow. Boring with bullsh*t capers and tomato. Really? Again, who am I to judge? I'm just the runner-up . . . UGH (10 a.m. shrink appointment).
Elimination Challenge: Dim sum. I wish I would have been there cooking that challenge. I love Chinese food, especially authentic Chinese food, like Panda Express. I would have made pork fried rice and chow mein noodles with spicy sauce. How about that?
Fabio, you kidding me? Is that the same thing when you were wearing a Cat-woman outfit on Halloween two years ago? Creepy. Jamie, now you are doing a scallop? Come on, noo, not now. And then the old Chinese man saying "Caucasian dim sum." Was that directed at us Finnish people? Oh my, all-stars, don't you know by now when you talk sh*t about your competitors they will make sure they edit it like they want to and make you look bad?
Now it is about 5 a.m. I'm having my third cup of coffee and thinking about chicken feet. We had an old lady in the town I grew up in Germany; she had a chicken foot on her neck for some spiritual reason. So now I'm thinking Carla again. Oh my, this is getting out of control.
I'm guessing Jamie is going home. Congrats Dale; well-deserved. I was wrong! Casey, what? Boring ending! You took the hottest chick and send her home packing. Who will be next? Anyways, have a great week and if you are in the neighborhood swing by Stefan's at L.A. Farm. You can tell me in person that my spelling sucks. LOL.
Happy new year and culinary wishes,
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Photos courtesy of Bravo