Talking about your ex with a new guy may feel like the ultimate don't, but sharing some insights into your past relationships might actually be a good thing. And although you definitely don't want to hear all the nitty-gritty details of each other's past relationships, learning about those connections — and fallouts — could bring you closer together. Before you agree on a no-ex-talk ultimatum, take a look at these surprising benefits of opening up.

• You can better understand each other's relationship habits. Regularly find yourself annoyed whenever he gets jealous, defensive, or overly protective? If you learn some of the pitfalls of each other's past relationships, it'll help you both understand where the other's coming from, and as silly as it sounds, you can find comfort in the fact that it's not you — it's the exes.
• You open the doors to other kinds of communication. Honest, open dialogue in one area of your relationship could trigger a domino effect, leading to more candid conversations altogether. Once you've relayed the ins and outs of your previous heartbreaks, you'll have broken down a barrier in your relationship. From there, you may feel more comfortable talking about sex, insecurities, or other topics that made you nervous in the past.
• You learn where each other's insecurities lie. Knowing what didn't work for each other in the past can help you avoid those hot-button topics or issues. If, for instance, he ended things with his ex because she became too dependent, you can make a genuine effort to build up your own independent lifestyle.

The bottom line: Opening up about your past relationships doesn't have to mean opening up a can of worms. If you stick to an honest, considerate line of communication, ex talk can actually bring you closer together.

If a friend or co-worker is into you and you don't feel the same, it can be more than a little awkward to let him down. Whether he's a lifelong pal, an acquaintance you'll be seeing around, or a guy who works just a few cubicles away, that common ground can make turning him down feel impossible. Still, that's no reason to pretend you're into him just because it's easier. Instead, follow these tips to say no under even the trickiest of circumstances:

• Evaluate the relationship. Before you reject any date offers, take the time to step back and consider your approach. If you're feeling 50/50 on whether or not you're interested, think about what you'd gain or lose by giving him a shot. Is it worth going on a date to see if sparks fly? Would he feel better if you at least gave it a chance? Or is he the type who'd rather not go through the motions if you know you're not into it?
• Don't dillydally. It's never polite to wait days before responding, but it's especially rude when you've been asked out by someone you already know. No matter what kind of news you'll be passing along, be respectful and make a point to reply the same day.
• Pick the right medium to communicate. If it's a friend who's casually texted to ask you out, it's perfectly fine to text him your response. Dealing with a co-worker? Don't IM him from 20 feet away. Instead, muster the courage to say something face-to-face — he'll appreciate that you were up front with him, and you'll avoid the awkwardness of seeing him just after you've messaged him with a refusal.
• Set the postrejection tone. Chances are, he's going to feel a bit blue after you've turned him down, so it's on you to establish a normal, easygoing vibe. Smile and make small talk, but don't go overboard and shower him with attention, because that'll only rub salt in the wound. People tend to mimic the way they're treated, so do your best to treat him like a friendly acquaintance and hopefully, eventually, he'll be able to rise to the occasion himself.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I broke up a while back, but I never distanced myself from. It's still pretty fresh, but I am moving on and I'm trying to get over him. Right now I love and hate him at the same time. Possible? There are nights I miss him so much, and I know that if I call he'll talk, but coldly. He'll say, "Please don't say 'I miss you," I don't want to be in all of that again, I want to concentrate on college."

Still there are times when I just want to scream at him for disrespecting me, lying to me. Why do I want to communicate this to him when I know it won't affect him? When I know there's no point? I want to stop this. I have a chance because I don't have to see him every day in class anymore, but we've been closer for years and it is so hard. I see people moving on so fast, from one guy to another, and I wonder — am I lacking somewhere?

I was also very wrong somewhere in this relationship. He was too. And we stretched it so much that we weren't even able to salvage a friendship out of it. Neither of us gets close to people very easily, so maybe that's why we held on to each other. It's hard to imagine myself without him, and I am trying. He hopes that we remain friends for now, ending on a positive note so that when we're able to get over whatever happened, we can come back as newer, better people and end up together.

But still, I don't know if I should trust him. I don't trust him. I want guys to ask me out, but I feel scared. I feel like I'm cheating, and I feel no attraction at all. I lost my self-respect and the way I sacrificed everything and clung to him was so needy. All I want is that back — to look in the mirror and feel so good, to have him see me as the girl I was and respect me. I know I can't force anyone, but it gives me a lot of anguish to imagine our story ending up in such a bad state.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

Today, Minnesota became the 12th state to legalize same-sex marriage, marking another significant step for gay rights. Following Iowa's 2009 legalization, it's only the second state in the Midwest to approve a gay marriage bill, as most of the states who support gay marriage are on the East Coast. But the love is spreading. Six states have adopted a same-sex marriage law over the past six months, doubling the number of states where gay marriage is legal. That's a lot of change in a fairly short amount of time, so to keep you up to date, we've created a simple timeline of legalization across the US. Keep reading for a look at which states now support gay marriage.

• 10 simple ways to save your relationship — The Frisky
• Americans don't like hipsters — Newser
• Is this the most offensive commercial ever? — Cracked
• How to finally get over your ex — YourTango
• The keys to a nonawkward DTR conversation — Cosmopolitan
• Why watching Girls feels like a cultural requirement — The Jane Dough
• How millennial males see the "lean in" debate — The Daily Beast
• A plea for colleges to protect rape victims — HelloGiggles

You invite her to every event, you call regularly, and somehow, your friend always has an excuse — sound familiar? When a friend repeatedly flakes out on plans, forgets to check in, or fades into her own world, it's hard not to get upset and take it personally. If the relationship is important to you, though, don't dismiss the friendship altogether. Instead, follow these four steps to put your shaky friendship back on track:

1. Consider her perspective. Everybody has to bail on plans sometimes, but take a step back to acknowledge where your friend is coming from. Is she extra busy at work? In a new relationship? Has she been turning away from other people, too, or does it seem like it's just you? Put yourself in her shoes to see what may be going on — whether it's about you, your friendship, or a separate issue she's dealing with on her own.
2. Be persistent. Just because she can't make it to one or two events, that doesn't mean you should write off your friend altogether. Give your friendship a shot and regularly invite her to hang out, even if it feels like she's never available. She'll appreciate the effort, and you may find out that her flaky behavior is just a phase.
3. Check in with her. She won't be able to step up her friendship game if she doesn't know there's a problem in the first place. Next time she ducks out of plans at the last minute, ask her if everything's OK. Even if she gets defensive, it's worth reaching out to be sure there's not a deeper issue.
4. Know what works for you. Every friendship is different, and it's up to you to decide what kind of relationship you'd like to have with her. If you're running out of patience and can't keep putting in effort when it's not reciprocated, take a temporary step back. There's no need to create black-and-white boundaries — let your friendship live in the gray area for a while, and sooner or later, she may just come around.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been spending more time, and even flirting more, with a classmate. I'm almost 100 percent sure he's at least interested in dating me, although we haven't been on an official date yet. In a conversation a few weeks ago, it seemed like he was trying to express that he was unsure about classmates dating, likening it to workplace romances. Does that mean nothing is ever going to happen between us? We still have three more years of grad school together, and I'm wondering if I have a chance.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

You know that your birth control helps to prevent pregnancy, but did you know it may be causing painful orgasms and affecting your taste in men? If you're on the pill, it's important to know exactly how that dosage affects your body and behaviors. To stay informed, take a look at these fascinating study findings about birth control:

Women on Birth Control Prefer Feminine Guys
Feeling more attracted to less-masculine men? Your birth control may explain it. A 2013 study of college-age women in the UK showed that women on the pill were less drawn to masculine features like sharp jaws, prominent brows, and angular face shapes.

Low-Dose Pills Can Make Orgasms Painful
According to a new study conducted at NYU Langone Medical Center, low-dose birth control pills make sex more painful. Based on her research of about 1,000 women, low-dose pill users were twice as likely to report pain during or after orgasm.

Binge Drinking Increases the Pregnancy Risk For Pill Users
Those extra weekend cocktails may make your birth control less effective. According to 2012 reports, binge drinking can increase the risk of pregnancy because the unfortunate cycle of heavy drinking and vomiting often leads to unprotected sex.

Free Access to Birth Control Lowers Abortion Rates
The link between birth control and abortions has long been debated, but the findings of a 2012 study show that providing free birth control could prevent 41 to 71 percent of abortions. When researchers supplied more than 9,000 teens with free contraception methods, the program reduced the group's abortion rate by 62 percent.

Women Are Misinformed About IUDs
A recent survey showed that the majority of women have false perceptions about the safety and effectiveness of IUDs. The study participants didn't know that IUDs are more effective than the pill, which means that one of the most safe, successful methods of birth control is widely underused.

Sure, when you're trying to be part of a different family, you're bound to run into a few hiccups. But if you're truly struggling to build relationships, then follow these simple tips to find your footing. Whether you're about to get married or you're years past the in-law introductions, take a look at these five ways to improve your relationships with your other half's parents:

Get to know them personally.
To build a strong relationship with your in-laws, you need to find a connection that goes beyond their son or daughter. Do you know about their childhoods, their pastimes, their favorites books? Learning more about your in-laws' hobbies and interests will help you identify with them in a different way.

Know your boundaries.
If you're spending all day, every day with your in-laws, then there's bound to be tension in your relationships. Although you may be tempted to say yes to every invitation and request, being so agreeable may actually hurt your connections in the end. Think quality over quantity, and know that you can say no.

Don't be afraid to communicate.
You can't expect them to read your mind. If you're not open about who you are and what you're looking for, then there's no way for them to know what kind of relationship you might prefer. Speak up if there's a problem, because sweeping it under the rug will only build resentment.

Let your guy do his thing.
At the end of the day, these are his parents, and his relationship with them has plenty of layers you'll never understand. Whether he's close to his parents or has issues with them, it's best to let him deal with those relationships on his own. You should offer to help if he asks for your input, of course, but don't assume you know best. And most importantly, remember that it's really never OK to insult someone else's family — even if it's one you married into.

Remember what works.
Consider the best times you've shared with your in-laws, and do what you can to re-create those kinds of moments again and again. Had a blast bowling with his dad? Invite him to play mini golf. Loved hunting for recipes with his mom? Offer to take a cooking class. Stick with the things that bring you together to build a stronger, more comfortable connection.