TV Dinners: The Tudors - Birds Baked In a Pie

YumSugar — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:57:39 -0700

This week's TV Dinner is a little bit spectacular, and unfortunately one that you're not going to be able to make at home (at least not easily and not without getting the health board, peta and animal control upset at you).

I have a thing for older cookbooks, and recently I came across one by food historian Esther B. Aresty called The Delectable Past (1964). In it, Aresty shares several recipes from her collection of rare and collectable books - including recipes dating back to the middle ages. While reading it, I came across a recipe for a pie that would have birds fly out of it (just like the nursery rhyme). I thought it was pretty interesting, but didn't think I'd ever have any reason to bring it up. I was wrong.

This week I was watching the second episode of The Tudors and during the episode Jonathan Rhys-Meyers presents the king of France with a large tart. The king doesn't seem that amused until he begins to cut it open and PWHOOSH! out flies a bunch of birds. When I saw it I honestly flipped out and got really excited, I honestly had to rewind it and then squeal, "Wah! I just found the next TV dinner!"

To check out the ye olde recipe for live birds in a pie, and get a link to a video clip, read more

Sorry no clip this time, but you can find it at Showtime's website - click videos then choose episode 2, "A Surprising Gift").

To make Pies that the Birds may be alive in them, and flie out when it is cut up.
From Epulario, 1598

Make the coffin of a great pie or pastry, in the bottome thereof make a hole as big as your fist, or bigger if you will, let the sides of the coffin bee somewhat higher then ordinary pies, which done put it full of flower and bake it, and being baked, open the hole in the bottome, and take out the flower. Then having a pie of the bigness of the hole in the bottome of the coffin aforesaid, you shal put it into the coffin, withall put into the said coffin round about the aforesaid pie as many small live birds as the empty coffin will hold, besides the pie aforesaid. And this is to be done at such time as you send the pie to the table, and set before the guests: where uncovering or cutting up the lid of the great pie, all the birds will flie out, which is to delight and pleasure shew to the company. And because they shall not bee altogether mocked, you shall cut open the small pie, and in this sort you may make many others, the like you may do with a tart.

Announcing the First Golden Clog Award Nominees

YumSugar — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:13:31 -0800

You may know the James Beard Awards, and you might also know the Food Network Awards, but have you heard of the Golden Clog Awards?

Food author Michael Ruhlman - you may remember him from The Next Iron Chef - and bad boy Anthony Bourdain have put their heads together and have created the Golden Clog Awards. They said it's born out of "too many beers and late night yakatori," and I think it's just downright fun. The categories are hysterical, and their reasons even more so. Bourdain has actually managed to nominate himself for an award even! The actual awards will take place this Friday, but if you're curious to see the categories - including "The Alton" and "The Douchebag" - and nominees, read more.

The Fergus:For greatest achievement in pork, and/or guts
Martin Picard of Montreal's "Au Pied de Cochon"; David Chang of New York's "Momofuku Noodle Bar and Momofuku Ssam and ..."; Chris Cosentino of San Francisco's "Incanto"
The Alton: For being on Food Network and yet, somehow managing to Not Suck

Duff Goldman for Ace of Cakes--and for his relative low visibility and seeming lack of cooperation in the usual knuckleheaded FN Holiday co-branded clusterfucks; Ina Garten for actually cooking just about everything impeccably--and for (like Duff) being nearly invisible elsewhere on the Network; Giada de Laurentiis for doing everything (but the food) wrong and yet... still cooking consistently better than she has to.

The Mario: For the chef/restaurateur who best multi-tasked, multi-platformed, merchandised, whored himself, or opened multi-units (either while impaired--or not) and yet STILL managed to protect the quality of the mothership--while continuing to make valuable contributions to the restaurant landscape

Tom Collichio, Thomas Keller, Mario Batali

The Rocco: For worst career move

Gordon Ramsay for the cruel and pointless freak show that is Hell's Kitchen; David Burke for the "Hooters in a Hula skirt" non-charms of Hawaiian Tropic Zone in Times Square; Tyler Florence for Applebees, Applebees, Applebees

The Chef's Chef Award: Also known as The What's a Publicist? Award for the chef who continues to make the kind of food other chefs like, while flying largely under the national radar

Scott Bryan for Veritas and now -- some place in Virginia; Mark Vetri for Osteria and Vetri in Philly; Paul Kahan for Blackbird and Avec in Chicago

The Cat Cora Award: For most fame based on least actual culinary achievement

Guy Fieri for..."Tex Wasabi?"; Tony Bourdain--"One fucking book. Did this asshole ever work anyplace GOOD?"; Robert Irvine--"Sir Robert? Uh....Maybe not. Prince Charles' wedding cake?...uh...no. White House? Hmmm..not according to Walter Scheib....Five Stars? Who IS this guy? Really?"

Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places Award:

MJ Adams at the Corn Exchange in Rapid City SD; Andrew Meek at Sage in Windsor Heights, Iowa; Jim Kyndberg at the Bayport Cookery, Bayport MN; Stuart Tracey of the Pirogue Grill in Bismark, North Dakota

The Steingarten: For the writer or blogger who actually GETS it

Bill Buford for Heat; Pim for Chez Pim; Mike Nagrant for Hungrymag.com

The Douchebag: For the best example of twisted, repressed, or compromised "I'd rather be making lemon bundt cake with My Cat, Mr. Mufflesworth" journalist who actually HATES food and hates the people who make food even more

Alan Richman for taking a big Dump on New Orleans at the worst possible time. And for his totally disingenuous piece on celebrity chefs not being behind the stove when Alan chooses to dine; John Mariani for continuing to be John Mariani and do what he does so well. Which is--apparently--get free stuff; Bob Lape--"Do I have to pay for that?": Regina Schrambling for her deranged, embittered--yet fascinating--gastropoda.com, where she raves and rags on her former employers--(and Mario Batali) like an ex-lover-turned-bag lady.

The Swollen Liver Award: For the chef/or food person who has most consistently resisted the cruel attentions of PETA and the Food Police

Laurent Manrique, Michael Romano, Chris Cosentino, Ariane Daguin

The Crazy Bastard Special Achievement Award: For the chef/operator who did the most insanely wonderful or heroic fucking thing in recent memory

Chef Donald Link of Cochon in New Orleans.

The Supreme Order of Clogness Award: For the chef or restaurateur or food writer or food producer or food "personality" who simply did it best--or made the most significant thing, moved things forward, or changed the landscape of food in wonderful NEW ways

Winner to be announced.

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