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Ask a Savvy Bride: Is It OK to Register When There's No Wedding?

SavvySugar — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 13:35:11 PDT

Wedding etiquette can be tricky, like this question below, which Carmen1983 shared in our Ask Savvy group. If you have a sticky situation be sure to ask our Savvy Bride for support.

Dear Savvy,
My fiancé and I will be getting married next Spring and have chosen to save the money and time that it would take to have a wedding. He recently went through a foreclosure and we really would rather begin saving for our future. Instead, we will have his father marry us in front of 10 family members and will most likely go out to dinner afterward. Here is the problem - many of my friends have asked me if I'm registered. I am not, and have no idea if it is really a good idea since hardly anyone will be invited to the actual wedding. What is the etiquette in this kind of situation? I wouldn't want people guessing on a present if they choose to get us one, but I also think it would come of as rude to send an announcement for the registry but nothing about the wedding. Do we have to explain to everyone that we have just chosen to skip the wedding? Is there some tasteful way of announcing that there is no wedding but there is a registry? Please help.

To see the Savvy Bride's advice, read on.

Get the Dish on Different Kinds of Dinnerware

Susannah Chen — Mon, 23 May 2011 03:35:52 PDT

Future newlyweds, are you thinking of investing in a full set of china? It's a big, big porcelain world out there, and there are a few things you should probably know before settling on the perfect set of china. First things first: not all ceramic dinnerware is the same! The quality of china depends on a number of variables, from firing temperatures to clay content - but familiarize yourself with these four categories, and you'll be one step ahead of the game. Learn more when you keep reading.

How Much to Give a Newlywed Couple? Readers Say From $50 to $100

SavvySugar — Mon, 23 May 2011 03:05:53 PDT

Although there are many that think cold hard cash is a very impersonal gift, you have to admit that it is practical - you know the couple will undoubtedly use it. I'm always discussing with friends what the right amount is to give during a wedding, and the most common answer is $100. Turns out, readers think along the same lines and 45 percent say they spend between $51 to $100.

The next popular choice is spending $101 to $150 with 20 percent of readers saying they give that much to the wedded couple. Then there is the surprisingly generous minority, 11 percent, who say they usually give over $200.

There are of course certain factors you might take into account, such as your relationship with the bride and groom and your budget, but do you think the number sounds about right?

Wedding Registry Tip: Only Register For What You Really Need

SavvySugar — Sat, 21 May 2011 02:00:57 PDT

Building a wedding registry is one of the most fun parts of wedding planning. It’s a great bonding experience with your intended, and let’s be honest, it’s pretty exciting to pick out tons of new stuff. But it’s also easy to get carried away. Some people - those who aren’t planning a wedding, in my experience! - feel that you should register for as much as possible, to give your guests plenty of options and ensure you don’t run out of registry items. I received that advice from several well-meaning relatives, and did end up adding a bit to my registry - and wished I hadn’t! Not only did I receive a few superfluous items, I also ended up with incomplete sets of the things I really needed. So when you venture into Pottery Barn, registry gun (or mouse) in hand, channel your savvy side and show some restraint; you won’t regret it.

Help future brides out by posting your tips and ideas in our How Do You Save? group or leaving a comment below. Your own precious tips could be featured on the site and help tons of other savvy brides plan their own dream weddings!

Ask a Savvy Bride: Do I Bring a Gift If I Was Only Invited to the Reception?

SavvySugar — Fri, 20 May 2011 05:00:40 PDT

Wedding etiquette can be tricky. If you have a conundrum like the one below, be sure to ask our Savvy Bride for help in the Ask Savvy group. Reader Natty recently posed this question.

Dear Savvy Bride,
My cousin recently had a "destination wedding". During the planning it was made very clear that it was going to be a small wedding and that no one but immediate family was invited. I recently learned that nearly 40 people attended the wedding, (including some co-workers). My feelings are hurt since he is more like a brother than a cousin.

During the months building up to the wedding, the bride would not even talk with us about the wedding details. When my sister asked her about the wedding dress, she rudely responded, "Ugh! I don't even want to talk about it!" So, 1. we're not invited to the wedding, and 2. we can't even ask about the wedding!?!?! Come on!

Next month, they are having a reception. I'm not sure what to do for a gift. My cousin is very close to me and I'd like to do something nice for him, however my feelings for the bride leave something to be desired. My sister tells me that since we were not invited to the wedding, we do not have to give a gift. Is this true?

Can anyone offer suggestions for a gift idea? I don't feel like giving something off her greedy gift registry.

To see the Savvy Bride's advice,

read more. Savvy Bride says: I'm sorry to hear that you and the rest of your family were shut out from your cousin's destination wedding - while it might not make sense to you now, I'm sure there were some ground rules that they had to stick with to make it fair to both the bride and the groom and their guest lists. It's pretty clear that you still have hurt feelings, and while you're entitled to have an opinion about your cousin's new wife, she's not going anywhere so I advise you to overcome what happened during their planning process. Now that they are husband and wife, think of them as a package deal - if you want to do something nice for him, it'll be impossible (and not very nice) to exclude her from the equation. I'm a firm believer in never going to a party empty-handed, especially a wedding, so if you're headstrong about not buying something off their registry, you should at least bring a bottle of wine or a small celebratory gift. Hope this helps! Ask anything budget-, etiquette-, or planning-related - well, almost anything - by posting your questions in the Ask Savvy group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out. If you are planning a wedding, already happily wed, or still looking for Mr. Right, start sharing your big day with our community. Don’t forget to check the wedding content box on your post.

Keep or Toss These 6 Registry Rules

Emily Co — Thu, 19 May 2011 05:00:41 PDT

Wedding season can get a bit pricey if you're attending a couple this Summer. After all, each event requires yet another gift for the happy bride and groom. There are plenty of gift registry rules out there that seem a bit dated and unreasonable for post-recession survivors. Read on to have your say in which rule is still appropriate in this frugal day and age.

Your Best Wedding Gifts

Tara Sharp — Thu, 19 May 2011 04:00:00 PDT

I asked a handful of my long-time married and freshly hitched friends, as well as our faithful Facebook fans, what the best wedding gift you received was. From the splurge-y to the sentimental, you all shared the gifts that made the greatest impact on you. Some were experience gifts, some were just registry items that get used on a daily basis, and some were boudoir-related - always appreciated by newlyweds. Besides the always practical but not-too-exciting monetary gift, which a lot of our Facebook fans seemed to love the most, here are the top wedding presents our friends and readers received. And be sure to take notes for the next time you receive a save the date!

How to Gift Experiences to Newlyweds

Tara Sharp — Wed, 18 May 2011 14:53:07 PDT

We asked our Facebook fans what you'd like to receive as an experience gift in lieu of a traditional wedding registry gift, and you gave some great ideas. While the gift of "eternal happiness" may be out of reach (although nice idea, Sarah!), we can at least provide newlyweds with some momentary romantic bliss with these presents that are more about making memories than making dinner in the kitchen. With our Facebook fans' help we came up with these tips for experience wedding gifts.

The honeymoon - I loved these ideas from Facebook fan Rebecca: "I would LOVE to have different 'experiences' bought for us for our honeymoon like a special dinner under the stars, or a couples massage on the beach . . . the cheesy kinds of things that we could never or would never get ourselves because we're too practical." On sites like Traveler's Joy and Honey Fund, guests can not only put money toward paying for the couple's honeymoon, they can also buy honeymoon activities like snorkeling, spa days, and tours.
Daredevil date - You know how in every Bachelor and Bachelorette season there are a handful of adventurous dates that result in the couple bonding over the experience and learning how to trust each other? Well, you can make that happen for a newly hitched twosome! One site that specializes in these types of excursions is Cloud 9 Living, which offers everything from hot balloon rides to sky diving to race car driving.
Museum membership - Talk about the gift that keeps on giving. On sites like NewlyWish, you can give a couple the gift of art for a whole year with a membership to their local museum. Many museums, like our neighborhood San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, offer gift memberships on their sites.

Keep reading for more experience gift ideas.

9 Things to Know Before Buying China

Susannah Chen — Wed, 18 May 2011 12:55:36 PDT

If you plan on registering for a full set of china, either now or in the long run, there are a few things to keep in mind. Most importantly, it should be a fun way to adorn your table, and an extension of your tasteful lifestyle! But beware: cost prohibitiveness and space limitations mean you should make the right decision the first time around. If you're new to the registry game, there are a few things to keep in mind when coordinating and selecting the perfect set. To see what they are, keep reading.

4 Wallet-Friendly Tips For Gifting the Bride and Groom

Emily Co — Tue, 17 May 2011 10:21:16 PDT

You're happy for the two lovebirds, but the gifts on their wedding registry are way out of your budget. Drop the old tradition of resorting to the cheapest gift on the registry when you're strapped for cash! instead, take a more modern, savvy approach and pick a personalized gift that'll portray your thoughtfulness and give your wallet a breather. Dana LaRue, from The Broke-Ass Bride blog gives us some tips on the smart way to give below.

If you need more ideas on how to save on your wedding, join @BrokeAssBride and @SavvySugar Twitter chat this Thursday at 5 p.m. PST. The hashtag is #svychat. See you there!

Check Out Coupon Codes: Never hit "purchase" on an online order without checking RetailMeNot.com for a coupon or promo code. You can score percentages off, free shipping and more by doing some stealthy searching around the web, which adds up to big savings!
Go With the Gift of Experience: Sometimes experience is the best gift of all. Rather than a novelty gift or trinket that will just sit on a shelf, show your gratitude by taking your giftee out on an adventure that suits their interests. A fancy gourmet dinner out (or cooked at home with love) will satisfy your foodie friends, a hike and picnic out in nature will tickle your hippie-buddy's heart, massages at the spa for your luxury-loving sister, or tickets to a concert or play could be just the thing for your cultured crew. Personalizing the gifts for each recipient is a very special touch that will not be soon forgotten.

Read on for more tips.