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Challenge 6: Progress Update

chloe bella — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:32:13 -0800

My main resolution was to find some way to get my migraines under control! I was having them, or migraine-related symptoms, pretty much daily from Thanksgiving through mid-January. It had completely taken over my life, and the medication I started taking in early December could take up to 3 months to become effective. After reading everything I could about health, nutrition, and migraines, I made several drastic lifestyle changes, which became my New Year's resolutions. First, I gave up caffeine altogether, because migraines are frequently triggered both by having too much caffeine and not enough caffeine. I'm happy to say that I haven't had a cup of regular coffee in about two months! To be honest, this was one of the hardest adjustments I've ever made, and there were quite a few times when I didn't think I could give it up. I had always heard people say that they have way more energy after they quit caffeine, and I've finally gotten to that point. I now feel great from the time I wake up until I go to bed, and I don't seem to crash in the afternoons like I did when I was on coffee. But it took about a month of feeling like I was going to fall asleep at my desk to get here! I also transitioned to a mostly vegan diet. I definitely got off to a slow start on this, as the first few weeks in January were filled with a lot of dairy. Now, I have dairy once or twice a week, usually when I'm eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, but I eat totally vegan otherwise. So, I've managed to stick with my diet-related resolutions, and I'm actually really surprised by how well I've done. It's paid off because it's now been an entire month since my last migraine, and I've never had more energy or felt better! And as an added bonus, my skin looks so much better.

My fitness resolutions, however, are another story. I'm signed up to do a half marathon in April, but, alas, my running has been thwarted by my migraine medication. The medication I'm on for migraine prophlaxis is a beta-blocker (i.e. it's main use is to lower people's blood pressure) and so it prevents your heart from reaching what would ordinarily be its maximum heart rate, which makes workouts feel much, much more strenuous. Running distances that used to feel effortless to me are now incredibly difficult, and I get winded while running at what used to be my easy conversational pace. But, I'm just thankful that I can even attempt to go running and that I'm not stuck in bed with migraines! So, onward and upward with my half-marathon training! I figure that even if I get so tired that I have to walk during the race, it's still better than not even trying.
My other resolution was to increase my flexibility. I've gotten better about going to yoga (though I'm still not going as much as I would like), and I'm making it a point to stretch thoroughly after my runs. I feel like I'm noticeably more flexible, but it's a difficult thing to quantify.
So, overall, I'm pretty happy with where I am 6 weeks out, but there's still room for improvement!

iL0VEdesign — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:45:20 -0800

Technically, i started in on my new year's resolution around thanksgiving. I had just gone to the doctor and realized the "few pounds" i'd put on in my senior year of college had tipped me right over into the overweight BMI range. I freaked out and started getting up an hour and a half early to go to exercise classes in addition to working out on my lunch break at the gym in our office. Before long I was skipping the morning classes for a few more minutes of sleep and desperately looking forward to a lunch out with coworkers so I had an excuse not to work out. Then I pretty much stopped everything around the holidays...so here's round 2!
I am still working out over my lunch breaks on MWF. I jog/walk on the treadmill for about 30 minutes. I am also taking a boxing class M/W nights that I love! On T/T mornings I am just getting up 30 minutes earlier and doing a workout DVD that has weights, cardio, and abs. Ideally I will also do the DVD once on Saturday and go for a long jog/walk on Sunday, but I'm horrible about slacking off on the weekends. Its a much less intensive plan than before, but I think I will actually stick with this.
Goals: It seems like veryone says have both general and quantifiable goals, so here they are. First off, I want to be healthier and more confident/comfortable in my body. I would also love to fit into clothes better and not freak out about wearing a swim suit! I lost 5 lbs between Thanksgiving and New Years which barely brought me back down out of the overweight BMI range but I'd like to lose 10-15 more at least. I'm eating more vegetables and trying for smaller portions with fewer snacks in between. I also signed up for my first 5K which I am super excited about! Right now I can only jog for about 1-1.5 miles, but I have until April, so I'm optimistic.

Blondeyy's last Hoorah!

-B- — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 08:55:29 -0800

With my bald head and bony fingers and against David's advice I write to you:

It began with a Couch where I met some of the most wonderful women AND men [Grandpa]: Insightful, compassionate, caring, intelligent, charismatic, fun, and supporting. With amazing irony it ends with Mind, Body and SOUL.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas! My Christmas present this year was the reconnection with my family!

Although this gift was brought to me due to my breast cancer metastasizing to my lung. I had lost part of my breast at first via lumpectomy, and then went on to lose the whole breast and part of my axilla, and now it has [taken over] to to speak. There is no way to put it more eloquently. It is what it is.

My family is here. My David is here.

I think back on the days of the Couch:

Ruby kept me smiling.
Grandpa kept me thinking.
Gatara kept me laughing.
KTY kept me happy.
HoneyKnows kept me humbled.
SugarKat kept me giggling.
Iveenia kept me informed.

Then came the three women who made fun of my illness relentlessly in a public blog. The PM wishing that I were dead felt like a knife into my heart - tearing down and ripping through flesh and bone.
To you:

'It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.'

Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) British politician and author

I called upon an OLD friend who, by looking around, has a great group and is having fun! Telling her who to stay away from I am certain helped. Good luck D.

My hope for the new year is to rest as peacefully and as painlessly as possible and to get to know my family again while there is time - Thank God for time.

For the FRIENDS I met on Sugar - Please be KIND to one another. Don't assume. Time is precious. Keep feelings in mind before you speak. And, above all, and my lesson learned on Sugar - DON'T rely anyone but yourself. Do NOT put your trust in anyone.

Please perform self breast exams and encourage your family and friends to do so also.

There are conflicting reports and arguments back and forth as to when to begin mammography by governmental bureaucrats. Please insist your doctor order a mammogram for you as soon as possible. It could save your life.

I would like to end this with MY own quote:
'Friends are like watercolour words, they wash away when it rains.' Blondeyy-

2010 & ready for the new life to begin!

MoonGoddess77 — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 11:34:59 -0800

Last year was not the best for me. So I ended up weighing a bit more than I actually should have & oweing more than I should have! Pity party is over.

2010 may begin with a few doctor bills & some work finishing up some of the healing process, but I know I will make it.
My goals for the year are:
1- Be more positive & connecting with others more in a positive way.
2- PAY OFF MY DEBT!
3- get healthy! Which for me at this point means losing weight for me & getting back into exercising habits, & eating right.
4- Increase my mind by reading more.

So far I have started these goals & am working on them. I detail it more in my blog, MoonGoddess Gets Fit & On Track ( http://moongoddessview.blogspot.com/ ), but basically:
1- I am currently on day 8 of the 29 Days of GIving challenge. This challenges you to take time each day to do something for someone else. It can be simple or more intense. Basically anything from holding the door & greeting a stranger to donating clothes to helping volunteer with a charity. Its been great & the fun of the past week has lead me to believe that its going to continue in a less documented way, past the 29 days.
2- I am bitter sweet about this.   I was STUPID with credit cards in the past & its caught up to me. I have been following Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover plan & sloooowly paying things off... & under stress I end up adding on more. I have a game plan & have been focused, & see the light. The bitter part comes from my uncle unexpectedly passing away at Thanksgiving. He is leaving me money that I will get by the end of the month that will help me in achieving this goal much sooner than expected. I appreciate it, but I do miss my uncle!
3- I am currently trying to deal with a broken finger & struggling to learn why it refuses to bend at all. Other than that I am getting over a health scare where I learned that the polyp was begien but I have some fertility issues. Also the broken finger was the result from being attacked by two strangers, who also left a nice reminder as a scar on my ear of the incident. One reason the 29 Days is at the top of my list. I refuse to be a victim & already have a tendency to not trust. I have dealt with anxiety issues since high school & about 2 years ago they started manifesting as agoraphobia. While I never got to the point where I could not leave my house at all, I was confined to work & friend's houses. Anywhere else had to be somewhere I had been before & even then I only lasted about 15 minutes before panic meltdown! I know insane. Thanks to a wonderful therapist, psychiatrist & cocktail of meds, I now lead a pretty normal life.
So one to my health! First I will keep all my doctors appointments & do as instructed! I HATE HATE HATE my psychical therapy since it hurts, but I am doing it! Also I have a treadmill, got a Wii & balance board for Christmas, rescued my best buddy a pug named Baxter soon after & joined a gym last week!   All the pieces are in place, just need to do more. Some of the lifting & yoga is limited by the finger at this point, but I can always walk. That is my favorite thing! I can't wait to get warmer weather that is easier to take Baxter on walks. Til then the treadmill & pedometer are working.
Also I am planning to do the Couch 2 5k plan as soon as the 29 Days Challenge ends. Which will have it planned so I can get back into the habit of working out & the 9 week plan will end a week before a local 5 K - Race for the Planet at North Carolina Aquarium at Fort Fisher. This group run event scares me, but I need to face fears.
4- I have been really bad about spending too much time online & on other things rather than reading. I hope to complete at a minimum 12 books in 2010. At this point I have started 3!   Of Parrots and People by MIra Tweti, the Spark by Chris Downie and Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties by Ajahn Brahm.

So that's my start.

Basically
1- Give each day, 2- save & ay bills off, 3- work out daily in some way, 4- read!

2010 is the year..

Jess8902 — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:16:40 -0800

I used to be one of those girls that could eat anything, and never work out, and at 5'8 maintained 120 all through high school and college up until my first son. I gained alot of weight and a good bit of it didn't come off right away like I expected to. So I committed to a "lifestyle change" (since Diet is a dirty word) and settled happily near 140, and then we decided to have another baby. The second pregnancy was much different, I had more energy, and I watched my peanut butter milkshake intake (unlike the first time) and only gained 25lbs. After our second son was born I made the necessary changes and with breastfeeding and running after a 2 year old while holding an infant-the weight fell off fairly quickly and I was slim and full of energy. Then, something..that I can't pinpoint but can probably blame on too much weekend partying and snack foods, it started creeping back up. Around Thanksgiving of '08,after realizing I was about to break out my pregnancy pants b/c my 10s were getting too tight, and realizing I weighed over 30lbs more than my husband, (who, as a former mountain biking champion/uberathlete eats more food than I've ever seen a human consume and never gains an ounce) I knew things had to change. I scaled way back on the alcohol, and did all the things I needed to., became a passionate treadmill addict and as of now have shed 20lbs. I realize that this only gets harder, the older I get, and I've been a stay at home Mom/student for the past 7 years. My youngest will start school in the fall and I hope to re-enter the work force. I have 29 more pounds to go and I want to lose it by my birthday. I'll be 29. (coincidence?) I am excited for this year and I'm surrounded by a great support team, a friend getting fit for her wedding in September, a friend trying to lose to be at a healthy weight before getting pregnant, and I'm super lucky to have a best friend with degrees in both dietetics and fitness management. I find inspiration from real, healthy, and fit celebrities as well. Think Kristen Bell and Olivia Wilde. I think this group on fitsugar only further guarantees my success and I'm stoked to see us all progress!

not really advice..just letting girls know how guys can be..

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 12:29:23 -0800

in a nutshell, met a guy...tolld me he wanted me to be his wife, and hae children with me...told me we would be together forever, he hid the fact that he was married TWO TIMES! ( he is only 22 years old) had to 6 hours away from me..and as an early xmas gift i bought him a $300 coat ..spent alot of $ for gifts for his family///drove 6 hours to him to be with him thanksgiving..found an email talking to some girl about how he had never felt this way before bla bla...he said to me thats not what he meant...a week later didnt wanna be with me anymore...said he wasnt coming back to be with me..and is now dating a really UGLY trailer park trash girl with a kid...i have never believed anything a guy has ever told me...he was the first..i actually believed him..and im 24 years old, i have experience in being horrible relationships..i thought this was the one...he will regret it, i was an amazing gf...i couldnt eat, sleep..smoked so many cigarettes til i became ill..every day gets better...i once in awhile have my burst of tears, but it will be ok, time does heal !!i will find my love one day : ) i still have faith

I can't tell if he likes me or not! (Really long, btw, but please help!)

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:50:58 -0800

This is probably really childish for you ladies, so I'm sorry. But I really need help and I don't want my friends to give me some biased answer and I really don't talk to my mom about boys.
B and I have known each other for two years, but things really only started this past fall, at the beginning of our junior year. We're both officers in a club at school, so we have more opportunities to talk now. I've had a crush on him since September. So I casually started flirting with him. He's big on politics, and my dad had a magazine and newspaper around that I thought he'd like, so I told him one day that I was bringing it to school to give to him. A couple days later, I texted him with something about the club, and then we started talking about that, and it just kind of progressed. He wound up answering something I said with, "You are just simply amazing. Except you always seem to think really weird guys are cute. But that's OK. So I said, "That wouldn't happen if boys my age were more mature." And he said, "Oh, so am I just not mature enough?"
A couple days later, he found out that a friend of mine and I ranked all of the boys in our history class. He saw his score, which was like an 8. And he thanked me for the compliment (his words not mine) but he never specifically said, "I think you're cute, too." Then, a couple weeks later we were all working in class, and he was joking around with a friend of mine, and he said to me, "Will you marry me?" but jokingly. And it turned into this big joke about how he was going to be president and I could pick out the White House china and we weren't having kids because they'd be a burden on his career and I wanted to keep my body. And then his friend said, "B says that your only job is to have sex with him every night." Either his friend is a douchebag or he's said, "I want to have sex with her."
The week before Thanksgiving, a girl that I know very well and is a couple classes below us had a crush on him. And we were texting each other after school about it. And eventually he sent me a little note that said, "So who do you like?" and I wrote back, "Why is that being brought into question?" We were talking the next day, I said, "You never answered my text." and he said, "Hmm, which one?" and I told him. He was like, "Yeah, don't remember getting that. But I was just wondering. Because I always hear you saying old guys are good looking. Except I don't think you really like them." (By old, he means 20-40.) So I just looked at him and said, "Well then I get to ask you, who do you like?" and he started blushing and smiling and pulled out his phone. After a few seconds I was like, "Ha, doesn't work that way, does it?" and he went, "Yeah, no."
Last Friday, he asked me every single question he could think to ask. Where do my grandparents live? What does my dad do for a living? What year did I move here? If we live in one state but my dad works in another, do we pay taxes to both states? My personal favorite was "How did your parents meet?" And he listened to all of my answers. I saw him buying food in the cafeteria a few minutes after his little game of 20 Questions and he was like, "You know where my locker is, right?" "Yeah." "Put these in there, please, I have to get changed for my game." "I have to meet Shane so we can help our moms with PTO stuff. But he's taking me to Starbucks first." "If I had my car, I'd take you!"

And it's all just kind of taken off from there. He's always smiling at me in the hallway. He sits next to me in AP US everyday and talks to me a lot. And he has AP Lang the same time I have yearbook, and lately our Lang classes have been meeting in the library, and the yearbook room is in the back of the library. So I'll be in and out of the main room getting newspapers and things to write yearbook stories with and he'll start talking to me. Yesterday I was getting some paper while he was at the printer and he said, "I need to show you something. You'll cringe, it's just horrible." and proceeds to show me a chart that explains why the Canadian healthcare system is so much better than ours. Today we were talking about PSAT scores and I mentioned how I'm in the 94th percentile in Critical reading and writing but the 22nd in Math. His exact words? "Oh, I'll help you! No, really, I love math. Also, I need you to help me in critical reading." (His score was 12 points lower than mine, he really doesn't.) Tonight, my best friend and I were sitting near him a couple hours before our chorus concert and he just leaned over and patted me on the knee. So I patted him on the ankle. And then I was sitting on the ground working on something and he was walking towards me. I looked up and smiled and he stuck out his hand to pull me up.
Aside from that, it's just little things that I've noticed. He'll walk into a room and see me and say my full name like he's happy to see me. One of his best friends (who I'm pretty sure used to hate me) has started saying hello to me in the hallway. He'll lean over in class and write stupid stuff in my book.
All my friends say that he likes me, but I'm still stuck on how he knows that I think he's cute but he never told me I was pretty. Every single girl I've asked about it says, "It could just be that he's a guy, they never say things like that unless they're dating you. Or they want to get in your pants. And you're not dating and he's too nice for that." What do you think? Does he like me? Is there anything I should be looking for? Is there anything that I should be doing? I know that this is really high school for you, but 99% of you have lived through things like this and I want honest opinions, not just something my best friends are going to say to make me feel better.

Lost cause cousin?

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 14:50:33 -0800

So this is all about my cousin Lynn. Her mom and my dad are brother and sister, if that makes anything any more clear for you. I'm about four years older than her (I'm 24, she's almost 21) and she has one brother, Ronny Jr, who's 16. Sorry, it's lengthy. I mean really really lenthy, sorry again. I changed the names for privacy's sake, not that it matters.

She had a sort of rough life growing up. Her mother, Selena, told me once, "I could care less about her. Ronny is my golden child." Her father, Ron Sr, was abusive to both her and her mother. They divorced when she was about eight and Selena remarried a man half her age, Shaun, when Lynn was 13.

When she was about ten, her dad choked her and threw her out in the snow. Ronny Jr called Selena and she picked Lynn up and that's when her relationship with her dad disintegrated. Selena has always been a drama queen and Lynn had grown up to be a liar, a thief and drama queen all rolled into one. But I love her anyways. Don't ask why I do or tell me I shouldn't. I do. I love her so much it breaks my heart. Maybe it's because we've got a small family or maybe it's because I think that if I love her enough I'll be able to save her. Maybe it's because she has the same high cheek bones and crooked nose and chubby ankles as me; maybe I think if I can save her I can save myself. Don't ask from what. Even as I type this I know how ridiculous it sounds, but that's how I truly feel.

The last time she talked to her dad- I warn you this is depressing. I mean supremely depressing. I give you full permission to skip this paragraph. Not skipping it? Fine; you've been warned. Ron Sr called Lynn right before Christmas- Dec. 21st- and asked how she was doing. She said, "Fine, my dad is taking me to the movies later today." Ron Sr said, "What do you mean? I'm you're dad." Lynn said, "No you're not. Shaun is." They found Ron Sr's body on Dec. 26th in his hunting cabin up in Wisconsin. He drank himself to death on Christmas. Selena didn't even take her to the funeral. And that was the end of her dad; she was 16.

When she was 18 she moved to Arizona with some guy she barely knew for a couple of months. I wasn't really talking to her then but from what the rest of the family told me- and she confirmed- she was calling every few days having money wired to her. Grandma and Aunt Marissa (my dad's/ her mom's sister) wired her a couple thousand dollars at least. Then she came back home, disappeared for a few months, and resurfaced in the middle of the city, like nothing had even happened.

So she and I had drifted apart for a few years. I had a couch to give away and Selena had mentioned that Lynn needed one, so I got her cell and called her up. She was living in a studio apartment with her puerto-rican thug weed-dealer boyfriend, Rico. Not that his race matters, it was just a shock to see my innocent little cousin all grown up, drinking and smoking cigarettes and rolling blunts and swearing and working dead-end jobs and living with such a bad-ass. We started hanging out and partying together and talking on the phone on a regular basis and became closer than ever, and fast. Of course I wanted her to better her life, but I was in a pretty low point in my life too and I just loved having a girl I could talk to honestly and relate to.

So one morning I check my voicemail and I've got five messages from her crying and saying, "Please, it's an emergency, call bask ASAP." Losing a sock in the laundry is an emergency for this girl, so I call back expecting next-to-nothing. Turns out it was really an emergency this time. Rico had been out and ran into some guy he disliked who said that he and Lynn used to sleep together. When he came home Lynn told him that she had slept with this guy and had lied about it. In a drunken rage, he gave her a black eye and forced her to have sex with him. When she told me this I was furious; I had just gotten out of a similar relationship myself and hated the thought of her going through the same thing. I went to her apartment- he was out 'making money' for the day- I helped her pack a few things and she said she was leaving him forever. He came back while we were there apologizing to her and begging for forgiveness. I got in his face about it- he may be six inches taller and 80 lbs heavier but I was so mad I didn't even care- and he broke down crying. I asked her, "Do you want to make this work or not?" She said yes. What he did was terrible but he seemed genuinely sorry and she wanted to make it work and he was right when he said that she didn't need to be lying all the time- I agreed with that, I was sick of her lying about petty things too. He agreed to go to counseling with her (I don't know if they ever did) and after that incident they seemed happy together. 99% of men don't change after something like that but 1% do, maybe he fit into that 1%. After I got to know him better I thought he was all right. I was always wary of him, but wasn't as bad of a guy as I thought at first.

There was once a couple months later that she had a bruise near her ear and when I asked about it she said it was from a girl at work- she had just gotten fired and I don't think she was lying. Maybe she was. There was another time they got into an argument and when I saw her the next day she was wearing make-up, which she rarely does, but she didn't say anything was wrong and I couldn't see any bruises under her make-up so I figured she was just trying to look good for him because she felt bad for fighting. Who knows. The only thing I know for sure is that it happened once.

They fought and she left him for a few days and went back to Selena's house. She was there for two days and changed her mind and wanted to go back to him. Selena drove Lynn back to Rico's sister-in-law Lucia's house (where they were staying) thinking Lynn just needed to pick up some clothes. When Selena realized Lynn was going to stay she flipped and tried leaving while Lynn was half out of the car. Lynn ended up getting dragged and the neighbors called the police about it. No one got arrested or hurt. Lucia and Lynn walked to the store and supposedly Selena came back later and parked behind the house and tried getting in. I don't know what's true or what's on this one. Just more drama to add to the story, I guess.

So she keeps losing job after job, he keeps thinking he can supporting himself and her selling 1/8ths and dime bags, they keep moving place to place, staying with friends and family and occasionally tricking some landlord into renting them something. She calls me one day ad says, "I just found someone's social security card! Just imagine what I can do with that info!" I say to her, "Lynn, be careful. Don't get yourself in trouble." I don't think she did anything with it. I dont' know.

Now this girl, I have never known anyone to go through phone numbers as fast as her. She'd either be with a friend using their phone or getting a prepaid phone and then not being able to afford it. Then she calls me one day, "I just got cell phones for me and Rico's family using my mom's social." I say, "Lynn, don't you think that's a bad idea, don't you think she'll find out?" She says, "Not if I pay it on time she won't." And I think to myself, Lynn you can't keep a number more than a month, how the hell do you expect to pay a plan with five lines? Which of course she can't afford it after more than a couple of months. Selena never called me to ask and I never called her to rat Lynn out either. When you're loyal to both sides the best thing to do is keep your mouth shut and hope they don't ask. Right?

Over the two and a half years I was around her again I probably loaned her less than $100. Listen to this a remember it: never loan out any money you're not willing to part with. Of course she never paid me back, it was always, "Rico has it," (he never did) or "When I get my next check," (spent before she got a chance to repay me).

So she calls me one day and says, "Rico just got busted." He was riding with his friend. They got pulled over and the friend had '140 unit doses of Heroin as well as over 40 grams of Cocaine' according to the police blotter. They both got charged with everything. This is Rico's second time busted for intent to distribute- he's facing major prison time. So he gets a public defender and keeps getting continuance after continuance. As far as I know he was only selling weed. I tested him a couple of times before this because I wasn't sure- asking for this or that just to see if he could get it. He never could. I'll never know the truth, though. Maybe he said he couldn't because he knew I was testing him. They got married the day of his arraignment.

So she gets a job at a major hard-ware store, and a few weeks later, stops calling me. I try her last five phone numbers and they're all disconnected. Grandma tells me, "Lynn called me last week looking for pain pills." I google her name and the county she's living in and I see why- she's been charged with 'purchasing $550 in gift cards with a customer's (name of hardware store) credit card...' which boils down to 'theft and misuse of credit cards.' One is a 1st degree misdemeanor and the other I think is a 5th degree felony. This was late June. According to the county court website, she got a public defender, but stopped showing up for her court dates. I was going to call Rico but I figured if she wants to talk to me she'll call me- she's got my number memorized. I erased his number out of my phone so I wouldn't even be tempted to call him.

Turns out , too, that she took a bunch of credit cards out in Selena's name and ran them up and never paid. I don't know if Selena's going to press charges or not. Lynn never ripped me off but then again I never gave her the opportunity, either.

She called Grandma a few weeks back, saying Rico got some chick pregnant and they're getting annulled and she staying in some shelter in the city. Grandma (feisty woman she is) says, "Lynn you haven't called in so long I thought you were dead." When Grandma asks if she's been in any trouble, she lies and says no. Then she gets to the point and says she needs $150 to get her GED and go to nursing school. Grandma tells her, "Lynn, you can't go six months without calling anyone and then expect me to give you $150!" And that was the end of the conversation.

So I've been wondering if she'll ever call me, and Thanksgiving she did. She left a message saying, "Happy Thanksgiving and say Hi to you mom's side of the family." Out of no where, didn't say anything about how she's been doing, nothing. I call the number back and it goes to the voicemail of some guy named Ross. I know that's a common enough name but Rico has a friend named Ross and I met him once. He's a limo driver and he was hitting on me- he wasn't that great of a guy anyway- but I find out later he's married! Lynn and Rico were living in a hotel for a while and Ross was living there (in his own room with his wife) and from what the desk girl told me the cops came knocking on Ross's door once and he freaked out and jumped out the second story window and broke his ankle. When we got up to the room I asked Rico about it he didn't want to talk about it. I was going to leave a message but just in case it was the same Ross, I didn't. I don't want that guy to have my number.

So that's it. That's where I am now. I don't know what sort of advice I want. Stop worrying, maybe? There's nothing I can do, perhaps? I don't know. Maybe I just needed to vent. Any sort of advice or constructive comments would be appreciated. Thanks.

Jennifer Hudson Determined to Spread Holiday Cheer

kty — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:54:55 -0800

Scrooges beware! Jennifer Hudson is on a mission to convert you.
“It hurts me so when I see people like, ‘Whatever, Christmas is just another day,’” the self-proclaimed “holiday fanatic” told PEOPLE over the phone Friday. “I’m that person who’s going to go over there and get you into the holiday spirit. And that’s how I’ve always been.”
With that kind of attitude, it’s no surprise the Academy Award winner plans to help audiences across the country get into the spirit Monday with her first televised holiday special.
Jennifer Hudson: I’ll Be Home for Christmas features musical performances shot on location in Jennifer’s native Chicago: the local church where she got her start singing in the choir and the music academy where she studied, among other places. Hudson will also introduce audiences to her family, former teachers and childhood friends.
“The first thing you do for the holidays is go back home, so I went back home, and the next thing you do is spend it with all of your family and your friends in those familiar places. That’s why I chose to go back home and share it and make it personal,” Jennifer said.
As excited as Hudson is to share this Christmas with her fans, there’s one person she simply can’t wait to spend it with – her 4-month-old son David Daniel Otunga Jr.
“I need to make it great for him,” says the Dreamgirls star of her son’s first Christmas. “I just want to make it as exciting and fun for him as it was for me. And I want him to have this feeling each time this time of year comes around. Whatever that is, that’s what I want to make my tradition.”
With so much already on her plate, there’s one thing the merry mom won’t have to worry about this holiday season – preparing Christmas dinner.
“I learned my lesson from Thanksgiving,” she said. “I bit off far more than I could chew trying to cook because I am not a cook!”
Jennifer Hudson: I’ll Be Home for Christmas airs Monday at 8 p.m. EST on ABC.
– Jessica Wedemeyer

Boyfriend didn't show on Thanksgiving....

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 21:47:46 -0800

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. When we were first dating he instantly didnt like my family... Im not really sure why. He had only met them once and just didnt like them. Despite that, for the past year, he would come to my house and be respectful but it was very clear that he would rather be anywhere other than sitting with my family. My parents and siblings picked up on his weird vibe whenever they were around, and they dont like him. They dont hate him, they just dont understand what his problem with them is. No one has ever been anything but kind and welcoming and respectful to him when he sees them. Either way, he stopped showing up to anything I invited him to, always having an excuse that he was working or busy or was with his family. But he fully expects me to come to any and every family event that is with his family... and I go out of respect for him.
About a month ago, we got in a fight and almost broke up becuase he works so much, we basically spend no time together because of his hours at work, and he doesnt like my family. We talked and he said he would try and be nicer to them, spend more time with me, etc etc I talked to him about Thanksgiving and he said that he would stop by and start making more of an effort to be around my family.
So this week he ran into my father, who invited him over to our house for Thanksgiving. I asked him yesterday if he was going to come and he said that he didnt know. Today he didnt call me or anything, he just texted me in the morning to say Happy Thanksgiving and then late tonight asked me if I wanted to sleepover. I said no. (His family lives in the next town over, literally a 5 minute drive away so its not really an issue about travel etc.)
I need some perspective here... I think he is being disrespectful and inconsiderate of not just me, but my family in general. He doesnt see anything wrong with his behavior at all, in fact he gets defensive and thinks that he is justified in how he acts. I am so hurt. This is someone I have talked about marriage and children with but now Im almost positive that it will never work. Its almost as though he wants nothing to do with my family or me when Im with my family, like we're not good enough for him to be around. This attitude goes beyond my family too, he wont hang out with my friends either and has blatently told me that he doesnt like them.
Am I overreacting or would other people feel the same way? How do I end this? What do I even say? I know I want to break up with him but I dont know how to convey how I feel to him, or if it will even make any difference? Any advice?